Monday, August 16, 2010

With the Ears of a Vampire

Okay, I've been re-researching vampire stuff, y'know, and there was one question that really bothered me and that I could not quite solve: can I imitate that fancy Draculanian accent Lugosi pulled off so beautifully?

You see, I have a general problem with accents. Whereas I usually have a very good ear for languages, when it comes to any sort of funny gibberish, I find myself lost, er, in translation. Now, that said, I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason why people always suspect that I'm from Texas (which I'm not. At the very least, no Texan ever thought I was Texan; I've never met a Texan though. Writing this feels very weird somehow. I feel very weird. I'm an artistic person, so I figure it's okay, but still, from now on I shall not eat, er, things offered to me by people who smiled at me weirdly as they were offering said, er, foodstuff. I shall return my life to the Zen way. Or Zen-ish way at the very least. And world peace. I'm definitely all for world peace.)

Man, don't you just love parentheses? I sure do. Yeah, moving on.

So, the accent. I am not good at those. And since I know that I'm not, I'm uncomfortable practicing them in front of others, which I suspect is the reason why nobody ever thought I was related to his bloodiness, the always stylishly dressed Dracula. All that is left for me is to practice in my dreams... (no, not in the shower and not in front of the mirror in combination with funny faces either.)

Also, I would like to propose that Dracula actors be judged by their respective performance in the accent field. Just because.

Now, from a writer's (that's me!) point of view, I am not so sure about the whole accent business when it comes to Dracula. I mean, if I ended up sounding like a Texan gal, how reasonable can it be that an immortal aristocrat lives through all those many years without getting rid of this most tell-tale of dead give-aways, like, yeah, that husky stress of the consonants? I just don't think that's likely.

However, in general, as a writer, I find giving people accents very challenging and also very rewarding when I did it just right. Right in that case would be for you as the reader to have that same feel you'd get if someone what's-upped you on the street with that most nightly Lugosian twist of tongue, just it has to be brought to you not via your ears but via what you read. See? Challenge.

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