Sunday, January 8, 2017

Movie Review: Assassin's Creed (2016)

So I somehow ended up in a screening of Assassin's Creed. Such was not the plan, but I figured I might as well go ahead and make some lemonade here. If you enjoy the review, there's a tip jar to the right (follow the girl with the flowers and the white dress.)


To begin with I should mention that I am aware the movie is based on a video game, but I haven't played it, so whether the movie is doing the game justice will not figure in here. There are also a few minimal spoilers in here, most of which you already know from the trailer. None of them should lessen your enjoyment of the movie.

Plot: I'm sure there was supposed to be one. However, when something is so full of massive holes that it just falls apart in the softest breeze, I'm not quite sure you can call it a plot. The premise is that an individual's unique memories somehow survive in their genetic code. This simply does not get me anywhere near suspending my disbelief as it is just not how the brain works because that is where memories are actually stored. Even is I were to ignore that though, the fact that throughout the rest of the movie everyone wants this manzana de dios thingy which contains somehow free will (???) was just a little bit too much. Just made no sense. And there was something that I think was intended as a big reveal, except it wasn't. But it can be somewhat entertaining taking the pseudo plot apart after seeing the movie.

Pace: The pacing was actually not too bad. As is often the case in movies that rely on a lot of combat scenes, I felt that some of the fighting was superfluous and stilted, but that was something I could live with. At the end there was a major pacing issue where things should have been moving to a nice and tight conclusion, but they didn't. Lot of scenes with people running on roofs, standing on roofs, and jumping from roof to roof though if that's your thing.

Acting: The acting was ok, but there just wasn't a lot for the actors to work with I guess. The characters are not very well defined ones, even the main character was barely 2.5 dimensional, and he was supposed to be two people.

Writing: Dialogues didn't feel tight or even very natural for the characters. There was no proper conclusion at the end of the movie, which was annoying.

All in all, not a must watch kind of movie. As it's winter right now, the only good reason for watching this movie that I can think of is if you lock yourself out of your apartment and you need a warm place to wait for a locksmith and Assassin's Creed is the only movie you can get in because everything else is sold out, that's when I recommend you go watch it. If you can get your hands on some wine to go with that experience, that would be helpful too!